Fun Jokes 5

The Postal Service is now using young men to help unmarried girls find their mail.

I swallowed a dictionary and it gave me a thesaurus throat.

My wife loves to watch
pairs and figure skating.

The other day I held the door open for a clown.
I thought it was a nice jester.

Because of the raising cost of toys, Santa Claus is now called St. Nicke..less.

Some M&Ms were taken to school
so they could become Smarties.

I Iooked up a "favorite dessert" in the thesaurus,
I found find synonym buns.

A doctor told me to go on a diet.
I told him fat chance.

It is a shame that a runner has to get over many hurdles in his life.

News flash: ....A brain transplant is a mind changing experience.

Don't worry, more jokes will be coming soon.
But that is what I am worried about.

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I heard a person had stole some soap
but he has come now clean and is behind bars.

The police told us that if someone is selling marijuana in your neighborhood weed want to know.

An old piece of bread used with a new one in a sandwich would be called a stalemate.

The tailor was happy to fix my pants quickly or sew it seams.

When I told someone that a person stole milk, cream and butter.
They replied, "How dairy!"

I am unclear on the meaning of

opaque.

Where do you take a leaky boat? To a doc.

Do you noah that they said the ark would sink but the Titanic would not.

I Noah guy that can make you a big boat.

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store.
It was quite an oar deal.

I tried to read a book about anti-gravity but it was above my head.

A chess game cannot last more than 48 hours because a player only is only given two nights

With females now delivering the mail, the Postal Service had to remove US Mail from their trucks.

The sun enrolled into a Florida college to get a few more degrees.

I went to a marriage seminar
but I did not see a single person.

I kept trying to pronounce apocalypse until someone told me not to worry because it was not the end of the world.

Did you hear the store, which always sells everything for a dollar, is having a $1 sale.

My son asked if this is what I meant by clockwise?

My jokes really has a big fan club. Cool.

I was ask to get to the point and Sumurais my report on Japanese sword fighters but I realized that I could not cut it.

Why did the donut go to the dentist?

Because it need a filling.

A hospital in Africa had to stop asking "Which Doctor?"

When two pieces of valcro were separated, it was a real rip off.

Does this mean that these children had more time on their hands?

In countries that use the metric system, are football measurements in meters?

When we switch to the metric system, would we call the grass area in the back of our house the Back Meter?

Headshrinkers where once very successful because they were always trying to get a head.

Siamese twins often complain of having a splitting head ache.

The IRS workers found it very taxing to collect taxes.